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After recording this morning’s video, I realized I should’ve tied an economics approach to the topic of how we deal effectively with bullies.
There is no question bullies are amongst us, and we certainly see and hear from them more so now than in the past. Their immaturity takes center stage during elections, as we’ve witnessed the past several months, and it can lead us to want to confront them.
While there are times engagement on our part is necessary, we should still do our best to follow the advice that the best way (usually) to deal with bullies is to ignore them. Usually, their approach is simply words and expression of rude emotions, not actions. Their goal is almost always attention, and our engagement in response to their behavior only gives them what they are wanting. Unless bullies are engaging in threats or physical confrontations, there’s no reason to engage because when we do, they win.
Think of engaging with bullies as an example of significant opportunity costs. No matter what benefit you might gain from the confrontation, the time and effort being put towards it would provide far greater benefit doing something else.
As I also mentioned, bullying is a tool overt narcissists can use to weaken you and play with your emotions. If they force you into an emotional situation, where you potentially “strike back,” regardless the justification, they’ll further use it against you in their quest for power.
As a public service professional, my best advice to students when dealing with mocking, ridicule, rudeness, internally or externally of their employer, is to simply “be a block of wood.” It may not help you “feel better,” of course. This approach, however, does help you avoid making mistakes and enables you to focus on the work.
Maintaining professional conduct does require us to take a lot of blows, and unfortunately, the workplace can often feel like we’re back in grade school. The means we learned back then to not “give in” to the desires of the bullies, to not feed their ego and want of attention, remain important strategies throughout life. I appreciate my parents for teaching me these lessons.
If you believe or think I am wrong or misguided in offering this advice, I understand. You are more than welcome to share your thoughts and comments.
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