DISCLAIMER: The opinions and comments expressed in this post/video and all posts/videos of the “Analyst Roundup” Substack are intended to be objective and nonpartisan. These opinions and comments only reflect those of the Author and do not reflect those of any other individual or party, especially the Author’s employer(s) or affiliations.
The video really captures what I think about when I take time regularly to remember my Mother, who would've turned 80 today (she passed in May 2023). After recording the video, I did think of some other things…
I know I don't smile much. It's not my nature. I also don't frown.
My Mother noticed that, too. Every November growing up, my sisters and I would get dressed up (in a coordinated manner) for our annual portrait.
It was a big deal for our Mother, not to mention the family's primary Christmas gift for our Grandparents.
Mother did everything to get me to smile. My lack of one wasn't objection or stubbornness, and I wasn't frowning.
The ways my Mother coaxed me were unorthodox, and at times, embarassing. Eventually, I'd get there for a moment or two in the shoot (back in the film camera days, the photographers had to really work with you, as film was finite, and never free).
Today, I can smile when I need to. I never grin. It's who I am, and as I got older and more “grizzled” with the experiences of life, my Mother understood.
Our relationship got more challenging as we got older. I know I did not meet all of her “expectations.” I didn't go to Vanderbilt. I'm not a lawyer. I'm not a Progressive.
Regardless, she did let those dreams go. As I mentioned in the video, her overarching theme of focus on duty is ingrained in me. It guided me daily, as are the reminders of examples I saw from her and my Father.
There's something else she emphasized: the need to overcome ignorance.
The Appalachian-set play and movie, “Where the Lillies Bloom,” emphasizes this necessary human goal in its story of 4 kids surviving after the passing of their parents. Overcoming ignorance is thrust consistently by their head child, even as she struggles with understanding her own.
(For disclosure, I saw the movie in Elementary School, and I performed in a school production of the play in 9th Grade.)
As I stated in the Eulogy at her Memorial, Mother was always opposed to ignorance. Her experiences coming of ages in Nashville in the early-60's, born and raised in Belle Meade (think of whatever the “old money” neighborhood in Charlotte is for those of you in NC), witnessing the unrest of the Civil Rights movement from her Father's shoe store Downtown (and her own early jobs in the same area), she confronted and challenged her own.
While my level of agreement with her decreased with her as I grew older, I knew I had to “show the work” with her when it came to my beliefs.
At least I became a Teacher, as was she (after all, she graduated from Peabody, and taught High School before becoming the stay-at-home-mom my sisters and I are always grateful for.
I am grateful to be my Mother's Son. It wasn't easy. In our last exchange of texts, less than a week before she died, she reminded me whom she expected me to be, and whom I needed to be. I will be forever grateful for the exhange, and I state that objectively.
Share this post